By Chris Kovatch

Kids go through so many stages. We wait for them to walk, talk, read, and so many more that we can’t realistically create a comprehensive list.

Sometimes though, it seems like some stages actually see the child regress in certain areas.

We have been fostering our adopted children’s younger brother. He is 2 ½ and acts like a normal child of that age. He is into everything. He doesn’t reason. It’s his way or the highway.

Needless to say we have had to focus a lot of our attention on him, both for his safety and for his development. He has come a long way in a short time developmentally and that is a welcome sight to see.

The increase in our focus on him, as well as the simple fact that we grew to six kids from five, has Stryker feeling not so important.

You see, he enjoyed being the baby and having everyone’s attention. He was born for that role and the change in dynamics at our house has been challenging for him to become accustomed to. In fact, he has begun to speak the language of our foster child. By that, I mean he has taken a liking for throwing fits.

The problem with Stryker’s fits is that the child is a ball of energy. When he commits to acting out, he runs with it and you better just hold on. He is like the Energizer Bunny. He just keeps going and going and going. You get the point.

To him any attention, even negative attention, is attention. He isn’t used to sharing the spotlight and he will do anything he can to get it back.

How do I address this shift in the family unit? Giving in to his fits is not the route to go, but, I also have to realize how his world has been turned upside down.

The route I have taken with him is intentional and multi-faceted.

Keeping my cool is key. He is working to get a response from me, and while he will get one, it will be a muted one. I have tried to add additional one on one time for him. We ‘race’ each other in the morning to see who can get ready the fastest. He always wins, but that’s the point. It’s about him. We have ‘coffee time’ in the morning where we both sit at the bar and drink from our coffee cups. We also spend time working together in the yard.

As he continues to mature, he will realize what he means to us, and just because he is no longer the ‘baby’, he is still an integral piece of our family puzzle. He will know that our life would be incomplete without him.

And in the end, he knows how to play me…so he has that going for him too.