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Well, my friends, the season we all dread has arrived.

I dare not whisper its name; it is so horrendous to even contemplate.

But, I must. <exaggerated English sigh>

Hurricane Season

I know people say that nothing big ever happens here. But, y’all need to stop saying that.

The second I hear someone say it, there is a plant fire, a hurricane in the Gulf and a pandemic.

Seriously, stop.

Usually, I like when people talk about new seasons starting.

Baseball Season? Love it.

I love two teams, the New York Yankees and the Houston Astros. I was raised a Yankees fan, and as any kid growing up here knows, in the 80s, if it was raining and you could not go outside, you would try and watch cartoons.

And it never failed that my favorite afternoon shows would be preempted by Astros games.

But, I can watch a game. I will follow the stats, and enjoy it.

I do not know of a single person that does that for Hurricane Season.

“Well, they are calling Tropical Storm Stan up from the minors this week. I understand that as a Hurricane he will have an impressive earned storm average. The storm has even stolen a few bases and towns.”

Or the Holiday Season.

I am absolutely in love with the holidays. I can decorate the house, cook foods I normally would not, and above all, I enjoy cooler weather.

I do not think anyone does this for this season.

“Well kids, did you leave your emergency rations and bottled water out for Hurricane Stan? He is making landfall tonight and if you are good boys and girls, he may not flood the house when he arrives!”

Followed by singing of traditional seasonal carols:

Oh Come all ye FEMA.

Board up the Halls!

All I want for hurricane season is my electric back on.

And other timeless classics. How much would you expect to pay for this album…

Sorry, I had an out of commercial experience…

Then there is hunting season.

People look forward to the first day of hunting season here with glee.

But, now that I think of it. I wish we could treat the hurricane and the hunting season the same.

“Well, this year I have myself a perfect weather blind on the beach. Got a high powered 30 odd 6 and even better, I have a full card. I can bag as many hurricanes as I want, and there is a limit of a dozen tropical storms.”

It could work.

 

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com