By Michael Cole

 

By now it should surprise no one that I think of some weird stuff.

So this will just add to the mix.

 

Lately, I have taken to YouTube to watch a BBC series called, “In Search of.” It is a history driven series hosted by a gentleman named Michael Wood.

I love it because you can hear the passion for the subject in his voice. He not only seeks to inform you of the topic, but uses flowery language to immerse the viewer in the topic.

I think if you are into history, you should check it out.

Now back to my topic.

I noticed one thing about his documentaries that stuck with me. Whenever he first mentioned the name of his subject, whether it was Beowulf, Athelstan, Boudica, or whoever, dramatic music and then a choir followed it.

Mr. Wood began telling us why this person was worthy of our time.

I immediately saw why I needed this in my life.

I could see the uses.

My wife at home wondering why it is taking me so long to walk Bernie or Bill.

“Where is Michael?”

Immediately the room is filled with a stirring orchestra piece followed by a choir singing some melodramatic piece.

I then kick open the door and glide (yes, glide) into the house with the dog I am walking. I would have a regal look that would command respect.

I would then wait for my wife to stop laughing.

Okay, bad example.

Or when it is publication day and my editor is wondering where my article is.

The second she says my name, an email pops in her inbox. She opens it to hear the dramatic music and a choir starts singing Handel in the corner.

Once she closed the email and shooed the choir away, I would have plenty of time to write the column and email it to her.

Though I doubt I would survive if it caused her to spill her coffee.

It would be fun at the Doctor’s office or other places.

I could just have the orchestra and choir ready for me to be called back to the exam room. Though I do admit, I am not sure how to fit them into that tiny room. But considering that I will be waiting in there for a while, I have the time to figure it out.

And I am sure that the first time the choir jumped out of the trunk of my car when I am pulled over would not be as awe inspiring when I am writhing on the ground while being tazed.

So, I guess I will have to explore maybe an electronic way to inspire awe whenever my name is called.

I guess for now I will be stuck with putting a ringtone on my phone and hitting the play button when it comes time for my fanfare.

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com