By Bobby Tingle

What we now know, from the highest levels of our nation’s intelligence and law enforcement communities, is this — Foreigners are out to get us.

They will not be deterred from savaging our institutions, held sacred and revered by all within their domain, with the intent of undermining the foundations of our existence.

But, grateful we are, for now we know their weapon, their instrument of terror as they sow discord within our community. Now, we know just how sophisticated and intricate are the tools of their mischief. The light of transparency has cast illumination in the darkness and in the middle of the room, scurrying for cover, is the pests of oppression employed by these nasty purveyors of doom.

These vagabonds have stooped to new levels, unforeseen by their unsuspecting victims.

How could we have missed it?

What is their weapon of pain and destruction?

They use the BOT to savage our nation on social media.

Wait, what is a BOT?

Is this for real, they are using social media?

Let’s be logical and analytical as we seek to remove the cloud of confusion to avoid being their latest victim.

Early voting has begun and the winners of each primary will soon be chosen to represent their respective parties in the general election in a few short months. According to reports, BOTs have been used to sway our elections. It is adamant we pursue answers with diligence at this critical time.

BOT looks like an acronym when you use lower case letters, but more so when typed in upper case. So, our task is to discover the meaning of each letter. This may not be easy.

When you vote in the primary election in Orange County you will be issued a paper ballot and a pencil. What if BOT stands for ‘Bunch of Termites’? What if foreigners unleashed, through social media no less, this destructive force bent on destroying all our voting pencils? There are only so many voting pencils. If all the voting pencils in Orange County have been ravaged by wood munching termites, our right to vote will soon be eliminated as waste. If the pencils only hold up for a few voters, then the will of the people will be diminished to a few early bird voters.

Hopefully, the pencils will prevail. But, what about the paper ballots if BOT stands for ‘Bounty of Tears’? Your tears could flow, smearing your pencil marks, causing the graphite to overflow the boundaries of the oval and possibly negating your vote as the scanner rejects your ballot because your mark is outside the lines.

Surely these ‘Bullies of Terror’ can’t be this sophisticated.

We must be grateful since we are protected from the certain ‘Barrage of Turmoil’ as our national police have declared war on this nefarious enemy. Indictments are forthcoming.

But, can we be sure these ‘Beasts of Turmoil’ will be deterred. Certainly we should be as cautious as a ‘Bevy of Turtledoves.’

Social media is now our battleground. We must take this threat seriously. Question every like and share. Resist the temptation to re-tweet with a vengeance. Never be a part of this sinister plot to conspire against our sacred institution, the voting booth.

Go forth, boldly and vote. Emerge from the booth and triumphantly slide your completed ballot into the sealed box. Impose your will, never cowering to this ‘Batch of Terrorists’ seeking your demise through your beloved mobile electronic device.

Get out and vote. But be safe.

 

Bobby Tingle is publisher of The Orange Leader. You can reach him at bobby.tingle@orangeleader.com.