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I must admit one thing, I love the cheesy holiday specials.

Do not ask me why.  It might be the fact I can shut my brain off for a while. Maybe it is because there is always a happy ending. Or it could be the fact I am easily entertained.

Who knows.

But what does annoy me at times is the fact, all of these Lifetime and Hallmark movies are formulaic. They involve a woman who has been cheated on, abused, left, or in some other distress.

The man is a happy go lucky millionaire, billionaire, celebrity or some other small town boy who makes it big.

It is always set in some rural town in places like Iowa or West Virginia.

Toss in some vengeful ex, who if it is her ex, is jealous, domineering and dangerous. If it is his ex, she is jealous, determined to get them back together, and all around…

Well, you know.

There is the climax of the subterfuge where she is convinced he is playing her.

Followed by the happily ever after.

Like this…

This Christmas on Hallmark, last Christmas she gave him her heart the very next day he gave it away and she was abandoned in a small Iowa town after nearly getting run over by a reindeer.

He is a billionaire who is trying to escape the stressed-out life of an internet guru going back to his farming roots.

Can love work for them this Christmas…. A Hallmark not so original Love Got Run Over by a Reindeer

See, tell me you can’t see it.

I would like some more realistic ones.

Trapped

In this holiday original, he only needed one item to buy at Walmart. She was stocking up for the holidays. Neither expected to be trapped in the supermarket with only one cashier and all of the self-checkout lines full.

Watch their love bloom as shoppers try everything to take their spot in the checkout line. Is their love real, or just another 12 items or less romance? Find out in a Hallmark Original, Trapped. 

Or;

She posted an innocent remark on a political Facebook post. She was then beaten up online for her comment. What was worse is her internet BFF was one of them.

He was a group admin determined to make the comment section less negative. Soon he had muted most of the group.

This Christmas, can she find the courage to post her opinion? Can he get past the sarcasm of her post to find true love?

Watch a downhome Christmas special, A Zuckerberg Christmas. 

That one might not be aired if it violates Facebook’s community guidelines.

I would gladly watch either.

 

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not rewriting Christmas specials, he is plotting global domination or bathing dogs. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com