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Recently I lost a friend who had lived an extremely interesting life. With only a decade or so in years more than I, she had achieved greatness from relatively simple beginnings.

To me, she was a hero.  A wise and determined woman who influenced me in many ways.

At her wake, senior people from the community remembered her, remembered her achievements, and remembered her temperament. I don’t recall anyone using the same words that I would have, but to my mind she was cantankerous.

Other words also come to mind – crotchety, ornery ill-natured, having an irritable and unpleasant disposition. But this was just her public face. She was an achiever – both for herself and for others. She challenged others to do well – and was mostly successful.

However, I was favored with a different side of her during the short time I knew her. I learned of her through the newspapers, she learned of me through the same media – because I had a regular opinion/editorial byline in the local paper, and we had some similar thoughts about what was going on in the world.

The side of Mrs. Essie Bellfield that I knew was always positive and supportive. She would often tell me how she enjoyed my writing and my thoughts – that we agreed on things. Yes, she could be cantankerous, but she was also a kind and loving woman. The first woman elected Mayor of the City of Orange, the first black Mayor of the City of Orange.

I stopped writing my op/ed articles about two years ago. The world was getting too negative, and it was reflecting back on me – my opinions started to change from positive to negative as well. And I didn’t like it. So, I stopped.

Paying my respects to Mrs. Essie made me rethink a lot of things. She had a habit of doing that to people even when they didn’t realize it at the time. If I was being negatively influenced by the negativity of the world and its politicians, they were winning. It was only me that could bring me back to the positive side, stopping did not help anything.

Thank you, Essie! For, once again, putting me back on the right path. R.I.P. my friend.

J.David Derosier consults with small business on planning and marketing issues, and provides web design and hosting services through OhainWEB.com, an accredited business with the Better Business Bureau that is rated A+ by BBB. He can be reached at JDAVID@Strategy-Planning.info