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by Rix Quinn

     At dinner, I sat next to two ladies engaged in conversation. I strained my ears to catch any possible gossip.

     But, they weren’t talking to each other. Each had someone else on the phone. Instead of one conversation, I was listening to the parts of two.

     So, I said to myself: “Self, how can I further confuse this ridiculous situation?” Then I got an idea.

     I called the waiter to my table and asked if he had heard either of the ladies’ names. “Yeah, one was named Camille.”

     I then asked him for his phone number. I told him Camille would call about her food.

     I turned to the ladies’ table, and said, “Hey, Camille, who you talking to?” She glared at me, then said “Do I know you?”

     “No,” I said, “but Bob the waiter wants you to call him with your table’s order. And if you can get your table partner off her phone, you can both order.”

     I learned three things that day. First, never interrupt two calls at once. Second, don’t bother Camille when it’s time for a meal.

     And third, a person with a phone in one hand can throw dinner rolls with the other.

     Got a question to ask Rix? E-mail him at rix@rixquinn.com.