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Every year I start the year with resolutions.

Most do not make it to my birthday, if that long.

Most are simple stuff like exercising more, less time on Facebook, global domination.

Some require more effort, like drinking less coffee.

I am not sure how I will do it. I currently am at two pots a day and have set a goal of no more than one pot a day.

I will not survive. Correction, I will not survive without going to prison.

But how do we come up with our resolutions?

I usually carry over my past unfilled resolutions to the next year.

However, in looking at my resolutions I felt it was time to update this list.

I removed trying Pepsi Crystal and Zima from my list.

Also gone was riding on the Space Shuttle and upgrading my PC to Windows ME.

So, where does this leave me?

If there are resolutions to be removed from my list because they are no longer practical, then my list has been pared down dramatically. This takes my list from about 450 to about 3.

Drink less coffee, get into shape, and global domination.

I want something nobler than this, like, write a best seller, or Galactic Domination.

But, aren’t those on everyone’s list? I want to be different. To stand out.

In 2022, I have decided to trust my resolutions into a device created by my evil genius dog, Roswell Cosmos Cole.

Windows eResolution 5.0; or for those of you Apple users, iResolution22.

You simply activate it and the app does the rest.

So here goes.

In 2022, I plan on:

 

Chasing Squirrels

Give Roswell more Cookies

Digging Holes

Drink less coffee

Get into shape

World Domination

 

And there we have it.

Well, I am off to drink my second pot of coffee for the day.

 

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination or bathing dogs. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com