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OP-ED: Story Over a Cup – Be fruitful and multiply

Michael Cole
Story Over A Cup

It doesn’t matter how hard I try.

I can work on it all day.

I probably can work on it all night as well.

But, it never, ever goes away.

We all face this ever-growing threat to our sanity and to our workday.

I am almost loath to say its name.

It is a scourge, a menace, possibly a threat to national security.

So, I will whisper its name, out of fear of summoning it from the pits of hell.

Laundry.

We spent the last few days cleaning every bit of sheets and blankets, all of the clothes we own as part of a cleaning ritual.

And heck if I did not turn around today and already have enough to do more.

I know that there is a scripture about being fruitful and multiplying, but I am not sure this was what was intended.

I can toss a sock in the basket right now, leave the room and come back to a bedspread, three pairs of pants, a shirt, bath towels and a rag.

And usually in under five minutes.

I work from home. I do not change from around the house clothes to work clothes as much as I used to; so I am surprised when they still find their way to the laundry far in excess of the amount I wear.

The only explanation I can come up with which makes the slightest sense is my dogs. Maybe they have discovered the drive thru food places and steal my clothes, the car, and my credit card. Then drive there and order.

It is possible.

Ghosts?

If I were forced to haunt someone, I would be the laundry poltergeist.

Terrorism?

After all, if we are tired from doing laundry, will we have the energy to fight ISIS?

Homeland Security should look into that.

Until then, I will sit and wonder if the life of a nudist will save me in my water and electric bill.

Michael Cole is a syndicated columnist that when he is not writing, he is plotting global domination right after he finishes with the laundry. You can follow him at www.storyoveracup.com